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What does Mother mean to me? What does it mean to you?
My birth mother did her best to meet my needs; some were
met, others not. So I sought refuge in the Divine Mother,
which to me is the embodiment of compassion, grace, loving
kindness, nurturance, inclusion, understanding, support, and
encouragement. I found Her first, in a conscious way, in the
Goddess tradition. Both Tomas and I celebrated full and new
moon windows-of-time with others in song, prayer, and heart-to-heart
sharing. Through drumming and chanting Her Names from all
religions, we invited Her to be with us, flow through us,
and guide us; then found that collectively we became Her,
for ourselves and for each other. Of course, She was there
all along; we needed time and redirection of mind to attune
to that vibration within ourselves and in the world all around;
She was never elsewhere.
I had found succor in the Divine Mother through the Earth
from earliest years, walking hand in hand with my friendly
Bapa, hearing the leaves crunch underfoot, smelling the wet
earth, watching nature's wondrous cycles. As I grew more troubled
in my teens and twenties, I went to Her to come apart, lie
belly down on her breast, cry, then listen to the wisdom of
her silence and her songs, especially the wind in the pines.
I continue to spend time daily in nature, finding great reward
as I give thanks for and praise of her beauty and fecundity
, reminding myself that I and we are not separate from this
great Event in process.
I found Mother in Mary as a symbol of the one who conceives
a child in the purity of her womb, and becomes a vehicle for
divine nectar as her breasts swell and leak with sweet white
milk (seeing eight shoots of milk come springing forth from
my breast when my child gave the signal was one of the instigating
experiences for my deciding to dedicate my life to learn more
about this amazing Divine Process we participate in). Now,
finally, after years of immersing myself in the Aramaic Jesus,
I find the Divine Mother within the words he spoke. How can
this be?
The opening words of the prayer we grew up calling "the
Our Father" or "the Lord's Prayer" is Awoon.
It is a form of the word aba or awa (pronunciation varies;
the b and v are the same letter). On a superficial level,
this word means "father," but, Aramaic words have
and had many meanings. "Aba" can also mean "Beloved."
Furthermore, in the culture of Eshoa's time, "father"
represented the one who took care of the family, making sure
that everyone had their basic needs met. "Father"
can be understood to represent the stability and security
of knowing that one is safe, loved, and appreciated. It now
seems obvious to me that Eshoa knew that the One (who has
many names and is beyond all names) is so far beyond gender
that I am amazed that I could have taken issue with him about
thinking God was male. Now realizing how often opinions I
have about others are more about my own mind that about the
other person, I figure I had issues with God being male because
of the patriarchal indoctrination that I still gave power
to. Time to release and move on!
The second part of awoon (after the aba or awa) is "oon"
which is the plural possessive, i.e. this Caring Parent is
"ours," not just yours or mine, not just for folks
of our tribe or color or nationality or planet, but everyone's
and everything's. This to me is the Divine Mother, shining
her Light on all the children who exist within and because
of the One Source.
The word for God in Aramaic is Alaha (emphasis on the "la;
i.e. aLAha); in Hebrew, Elohim; in Arabic, Allah. As Dr. Errico
(a foremost Aramaic scholar, teacher, and wiseman) writes::
"All three words come from the Semitic root el or 'el,
and mean "to aid, to defend, to sustain and to succor".
1 Dr. Errico continues: "The people thought of God as
All Might, All Power, All Strength. Easterners understand
God as the very essence of all life and as the great Provider."2
That sounds mighty cozy to me, way beyond any personification
or anthropomorphic construct.
This is not to deny that the Middle East have had some patriarchal
ideas and behaviors, for I think they have. But Eshoa's experience
of God was not that.
From my readings, much of the development of Christianity
was influenced by Greek culture and by Paul's writings. For
decades I somehow managed to convince myself that this overlay
of beliefs was Eshoa' fault. It was not until I started singing
and learning about the Aramaic Eshoa that I started sludging
through layer after layer of pain and blame. I wept for an
average of an hour a day for at least a year, feeling my own
personal pain from having allowed my take of Christianity
to disconnect me from my own sense of sacredness as a child
of God; then, on to the pain created by the Crusades, the
inquisition, the witch burnings, the Holocaust, etc. After
processing whatever was up for me in any given moment, Eshoa's
spirit was always there for me at the end of the tunnel of
tears and pain, offering understanding and such a vast love
that my tears became those of joy.
Of course the quality of compassion, can be thought of as
a male quality, and certainly there are some exquisite examples
(Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Saint Francis of Assisi, my
stepfather Robert Birge, frequently Tomas, and many others),
but in general I have associated compassion with the Divine
Feminine, and with women. When I learned that the word traditionally
translated evil can also be translated "unripe,"
I felt so happy to have a context for my errors that was not
judging me as bad, but rather was giving a sense of my needing
time and space to ripen. Surely, I , like a hard pear, ripen
better when given a warm and safe space, rather than condemnation
and threats of eternal hell. Dr. Errico says that the Aramaic
word beehsa (or bisha) comes from the root word bish which
can mean "to displease, to harm , to be evil, to seem
bad, to err, to be worse, to afflict, to be mistaken, to be
unripe, to be unfortunate. Thus the word beesha as a noun,
adjective or adverb has literally scores of various meanings."
3. He adds other "denotations and implications"
that include "unlucky" and "immature."
I have learned over the decades that one of the ways I can
save myself from misery and self loathing is to understand
that all I have ever done (or am doing or will do) that is
out of alignment with my natural state of kindness is through
immaturity; I am just not there yet. And when I remember that,
I am inspirited or inspired to do those things that help me
ripen. Similarly, when I start to judge others as evil, even
if it is just because they are calling others evil, I can
relax when I remember they may be severely unripe, and perhaps
I can nudge their ripening process by affirming that they
too are essentially and intrinsically sons or daughters (creations)
of God (see son of God in glossary for more info).
Finally, when I learned that the Aramaic word which was
translated will also meant desire or wish, my heart rejoiced
. Aligning myself with God's wish and desire seemed inviting.
The word "will" reminded me of "will power,"
which was something I knew I was supposed to exercise, but
didn't feel successful with (as I munched yet another cookie).
Furthermore, will conveyed a sense of trying to make something
happen through the efforts of my individual self. Being invited
to align myself with the wishes of the Divine, both in terms
of the patterns and powers of the vast limitless "heavens"
as well as in the human arena of this earth, felt like a magnificent
adventure that would somehow miraculously benefit all.
So, exploring the Semitic roots of "Father," "evil,"
and "will" shifted my feelings about the prayer
from distant, scary, and hard …to cozy, possible, and
fun. There are more words and idioms explained in various
sections of this site, showing more feminine aspects to Eshoa
and feminine perspectives in his teachings; the balance of
male and female within Eshoa and his teachings is present
throughout. However, the above described three are the ones
responsible for bringing forward our sweet Mother within "our
Father," or perhaps better said, these refreshing perspectives
allowed me to see that the MotherGod and FatherGod co-exist
and co-abide, in fact It is/They are (of course) ONE. I hope
this sharing helps you as much as the realizations help me.
Feel free to share your response (see contact page).
To close, I wish to offer you a poem which Tomas wrote which
offers a very different approach that exemplifies how diverse
are the ways to explore the idea of the Mother in the heavens,
on earth, in our laughter, and in our hearts.
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